Making Lemonade!

So it has been nearly a year since my last post and you all are probably wondering what's going on with us? Well, this has been an exceptionally terrible year. Since 2011 rolled in, we have not had a bad luck break at all and it is still going strong.

At the beginning of the year, we started out with some mild car troubles. Well, they seemed pretty severe and costly at the time but in comparison to the rest of the year, it was pretty mild. Both of our vehicles had broken down at the same time, not just once but several times this year. Several thousands of dollars later, both vehicles are... "knock on wood"... on the road and running again.

Little did we know that our car troubles were going to be the least of our problems. Sometime in April we got a call from Dillon's nephrologist. (For those who don't know, that is a kidney doctor). Dillon had been diagnosed with high blood pressure for a few years now but we thought things were under control. Well, when his doctor called and told us he had some concerns about his recent blood work, he mentioned the possibilities of needing a kidney biopsy. I was slightly alarmed but kept my cool because the doctor didn't seem to act like it was an emergency since he said we would discuss it further when we came back in June. I was thinking, well, if it can wait two months then I am sure it's not life threatening. An assumption I shouldn't have made.

When we went back to the nephrologist in June, the doctor ordered a 24 hour urine collection and more blood work before setting up a biopsy. The urine collection showed some pretty high levels of protein and the blood work showed some high bun/creatine levels. BUT... when the doctor ordered that blood work, he accidentally checked the box to do a kidney and liver panel when typically he would have just done a kidney panel. When the results came back, not only were the kidney levels high but the liver panel was abnormal too. Now all of a sudden, we were having to see several different doctors and they were all conferencing back and forth but no one had any answers as to what was happening. We went to see the pediatrician, the nephrologist and now the gastroenterologist too. We had several more blood tests and an ultrasound then we were scheduled not only for a kidney biopsy but also for a liver biopsy. Then more blood tests and even an MRCP. Mind you, Dillon has a phobia of needles and loud noises. Therefore, you can just imagine how terrible this was for him.

After all the tests, needles and loud machines, we finally got a fraction of an answer.... Dillon was diagnosed from the nephrologist with Focal Segmental Glomerlosclerosis. This is a chronic kidney disease that has no cure and minimal treatment for the symptoms. We found out that Dillon has only about 50% function left in both kidneys. It is estimated that he will need a kidney transplant in about 3 years or so.

From the gastroenterologist.... more "good" news... Dillon was diagnosed with Sclerosing Cholangitis. This is a chronic liver disease that also has no cure and minimal treatment for his symptoms. The good news is that we found this problem at its early stages and will be many years before he needs a liver transplant, if at all.

At this point, you're probably thinking, "Wow, this was a bad year!" Well, the story doesn't stop there. With all of this stuff going on, you can only imagine how much stress this put on our lives, our family and my marriage. Without giving up too much personal stuff, my husband and I have been having some major problems too. We have gone through some tough times through our 19 years of marriage and the toughest has hit us this year. We are making it though. We are dedicated and supportive of each other. We will overcome all obstacles.

One obstacle that we are currently trying to overcome is our financial difficulty. For the first time in our marriage, we are struggling. With all these extra expenses, so many doctor's appointments and missed days at work we having trouble keeping our heads above water. We cut any extra expenses we could. No cable bill, no home phone, no going out to eat all the time, no more driving more than we need to, etc. The only bills we have now are our two mortgages, utilities and a couple small loans. We took out the second mortgage after we closed our restaurant and our trucking company six years ago. We still owed money on our businesses when they were closed and we have been able to pay them with a few dollars left over until now.

Before we started missing mortgage payments, we tried to contact the bank to see if we could refinance our house. Combining two mortgages into one with a lower interest rate would save us from foreclosure down the road. However, when we contacted the bank, we found out that we owed $8,600 too much on the balance of our mortgages. Our loan to value was 90% and we could only refinance if it were 85% or less. During this conversation with the bank, I got a little teary. The bank rep transferred me to the "loss prevention" department with a simple explanation saying, "they may be able to approve a refinance knowing your circumstances have changed since the loan was originated." I thought that would be great. Only when I finally got the loss prevention department on the phone they thought it was necessary to close my other bank accounts and they wanted to tell the credit reporting agencies that we couldn't pay our mortgage. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. All I wanted was to do the right thing and prevent foreclosure. We didn't allow them to do anything else but they did put a hold on our access line of credit account so we couldn't borrow any more money from them. Our credit was always great and still is. We have never missed any payments for any bills but we will go without a lot of things in order to do so. Like many Americans are doing these days.

Some people would say we were dealt lemons this year. I say, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." I want to figure out a way to get out of this rut that we're in but I am out of ideas. We have tried talking to the people that handle all the new government (Obama) foreclosure prevention programs but, can you believe, we don't qualify for any of them. There are like 20 programs and not one of them will accept us.

I am not looking for hand outs or charity. My husband works full time and does some landscape stuff. I am working full time, going to college full time, home schooling Dillon, parenting Dillon and my six year old daughter and keeping up with all these problems and appointments. I am not afraid to work for everything I have but we are working as much as we can and it's still not enough.

You all have been so supportive and helpful in the past with getting Dillon some new friends so I thought I would ask for some help again. Does anyone have any ideas that could help us is our situation? I need to make lemonade out of our lemons!

Please post comments or send me an email with your suggestions. I am an entrepreneur at heart and I am not afraid to try something like this. I even thought of selling some baked goods (I love to bake) but I don't know that I would be able to get these products to enough people to make any real money to help us out. Any other ideas would be great. Tips, tricks or insight of any kind would be much appreciated.

Thanks again!

Holiday Chaos Leaves Little Time to Get Together!

Just a quick update of the "Three Amigos". With all the holiday shopping, Christmas parties and cold and flu season going on we've had little contact with the boys since my last post. Ty and Dillon did go to see the new Harry Potter movie a couple weeks ago. Both dads met for the first time to take them to the movie. As I understand, everyone loved it. It's great that everyone enjoys each other's company and we all get along so well.

Thanksgiving came and went and everyone in our house got that nasty cold that was going around. That delayed meeting the boys for a couple weeks until we all started feeling better. Dillon and I met up with Ty and his mom last week at Mellow Mushroom for great conversation and lunch! The staff played musical chairs with us a few times but when we finally got seated in our final destination, all was great!

Meanwhile, Lane got sick too and we had to miss out on visiting with him again. We hope to meet up with Lane before Christmas but everyone's schedules are so crazy right now. We'll have to see if it works out for everyone or not.

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I'm sure there will be lots to post after the chaos of the the holidays pass. Thanks again for all your support.

Introducing... Mr. Mayor... and Friends

I think it's about time I introduce Mr. Mayor as a real person and not just a fictional character with a pet name. Watch the following video to see who Mr. Mayor is and what he's all about. This video was made for his cousin. She is doing a speech on Raising Awareness of Autism and she wanted to have Mr. Mayor introduce himself during this speech. So, go ahead, watch the video ... I'll wait.

Now that you have met Dillon, lets meet the best friends Dillon has ever had. The first friend Dillon met was Ty. The following picture is of Dillon, Ty and Ty's older brother having a great time at Cici's pizza. Dillon said if he had millions of dollars he would own a Cici's pizza restaurant so he could have pizza everyday. That's how much he loves pizza. Meet Ty (he's the one in the hat)...

We love Ty. He's got a style all his own. He is very outgoing and loves many of the same things as Dillon. They could play video games all day. However, they did take a break from games to play YuGiOh cards. Ty's older brother is amazing with Dillon and Ty. It is so nice to meet others that accept your child for who he is and not expect him to be more than he can be. Ty's parents should be commended for their ability to raise such great kids. We look forward to meeting up with Ty and his family again this week for a movie.

Friend #2 is Lane. We love Lane too. Lane is a good role model for Dillon. He is not afraid to tell Dillon what is right or wrong. He makes sure Dillon listens to his parents and does what we say. Every parents' dream friend for their child! Lane is very smart and has educated Dillon in a number of ways from YuGiOh cards to video games and the ways of the world. Lane's parents are great too. His parents are laid back, friendly, very supportive of Lane and can really appreciate his friendship with Dillon. So, introducing Lane...

Both of Dillon's new friends are so fantastic! They are all so much alike and have so much in common. Yet the few differences they have compliment each other perfectly. I foresee a lifelong friendship for them all.

Check for future updates of the "Three Amigos" as life continues to unveil their future together! Life is finally GOOD!

Fantastic Friend # 2

We met with Friend number two yesterday at McDonald's. The boys started right in with their obsession of YuGiOh. Mr. Mayor was finally able to "Duel" someone that knew what he was talking about. Until yesterday, he had only played with me and his sister - she is 5 years old. Neither of us know anything about YuGiOh. Friend number 2 was so smart. He knew every card in the deck; he knew what each one did and how many points you get for playing it - whether in defense or attack mode. (Mr. Mayor would be so proud of my ability to speak YuGiOh). After the "Duel" was over, they played Bakugan briefly then went right into the PSP video games. Apparently they were able to play against each other even though they have separate units.

Anyway, the mom and I got along great. We were both so happy to see our boys thriving again. Time was cut short for a funeral that I had to attend. However, we are already trying to figure out what we can do for next weekend. Another perfect match!

I suggested that we get both new friends and Mr. Mayor together at one time. We'll see how this works out. It may be great and may be not. Sometimes kids feel like they are left out if there are an odd number playing together. But you never know until you try.

Well, it will likely be a busy week for me with all the insurance adjustors and car repairs that need to be done from our accident. I will try to post again next weekend and let you know what the Three Musketeers are up to next.

Thanks again for all your support! What a wonderful adventure we are on. I am glad you want to be apart of it!

We Met Them, We Loved Them... We Crashed...

Well, it was a GREAT visit with our first friend. We met at a book store so the mom and I could talk while the boys got to read and explore new books. (They both love book stores). We had the best time. The mom and I hit it off perfectly and Mr. Mayor couldn't have been any happier to have finally met someone that gets him. They talked and we talked then they talked some more. It was so beautiful to finally have him feel a connection with someone. After several hours, we decided to meet again next week. Life was blissful.... THEN... on our way home we were involved in a hit and run accident. We are alright. No one was hurt. We were pushed off the road by a rollback truck. He crushed in my window and the side of my car and never even knew he hit me. Two police officers, one claims representative, three witnesses and several worried family members later... we are now home - safe and sound (well except the car).

Some people may have said that it was an awful day but all I can think of is how happy Mr. Mayor was being able to finally have a friend to connect with... that was worth every second of my day! Thanks new friends for meeting us today! Can't wait to see you all next week.

Oh, we are also meeting friend number two tomorrow for lunch and fun. Then I have to go to a funeral. But I will post later and let you all know how it went with #2.

It's working... we are meeting people!

Since I posted "Saving Mr. Mayor", I have received several emails about different groups in my area of upstate South Carolina. They all look very promising. I have sent emails to inquire and will let you all know what happens. We have also received some emails from parents of children like Mr. Mayor that would like to connect our children together to see if a friendship sparks. My son is very excited about this. Home school was a little more difficult today with so much on his mind. I hope it doesn't interfere with his school work. Even if it does.... it was totally worth it! You all have been so helpful and supportive. I really appreciate everyone's responses and passing this information along. We are meeting the first tentative friend on Friday. I hope it goes well for Mr. Mayor's sake! Cross your fingers... I will let you know what happens! Thanks again :)

Saving Mr. Mayor

When I was pregnant with my son, I did everything right. I started with excellent prenatal care in the first trimester, walked or exercised daily up to the last week and even ate a healthy diet with an occasional splurge of chocolate and tea. Everything was going perfect! At least that's what I thought. He was due to be born on Valentine's Day but when that came and went the doctor decided to induce my labor on February 24th. After an emergency c-section and forty-two hours later, my son was born. I was put under general anesthesia for the surgery so I never got to meet my son until he was being rushed to MUSC (Medical University of South Carolina) by helicopter. All I knew at that point was he wasn't getting enough oxygen. After tossing and turning, painfully, all night long in my hospital bed, I checked myself out of the hospital the next day so I could be by my baby boy's side as he fought to stay alive. He was born with a condition called Primary Pulmonary Hypertension and was put on a heart/lung bypass machine. This machine pulled blood from his body, oxygenated it, then flushed it back in through tubes coming out of his neck. He was sedated for over a week so he wouldn't move and remove the tubing. He was fed by tubes, was breathing from tubes and bleeding from tubes. For nearly 30 days my son was poked, prodded, cut, sutured, glued, taped, tubed, diapered, and bathed. He couldn't be touched, held or rocked for most of that time due to the over stimulation that would have caused. He was seven days old before I could hold him in my arms...briefly. It was nearly Easter when he was finally released from the NICU. They said that his condition has resolved and although he may be a slow eater and have a few delays, he should be a normal child in no time.

Well, everything they said when we left was backwards. He was a tremendous eater. He was sucking down five to six ounce bottles at one month old. When it came time for baby food, we couldn't get it in fast enough. He was the happiest baby, for the most part. Laughing and cooing nearly all day. He did have a touch of colic and therefore had periods in the evening of uncontrollable crying. We thought he was a normal child the day we brought him home. However, when he wasn't rolling, crawling, walking or talking when he should have been, we started questioning. But we stopped and remembered the doctor saying that he may be a little delayed at first so his pediatrician kept an eye on him.

When he wasn't walking or saying anything at 16 months old we started physical and speech therapy. It was a long road, but, at 2 years old he finally walked independently for the first time. At three and a half years old, he said his first words. We taught him some sign language for basic needs in the meantime because he would get so frustrated when he couldn't express himself. When he started talking, he really started talking. He took off and hasn't stopped since.

At preschool age, we would take him to restaurants and he would walk around to stop and talk with people. Sometimes he would even take food off their plates while striking up conversations with perfect strangers. People would comment on what a large vocabulary he had at such a young age. We started calling him Mr. Mayor. He was so adult like and felt like he had to talk with everyone he met. Everyone loved him...

He is now 13 years old. He still talks to everyone and no one is a stranger. You would think that with a heart of gold like that he would have people lined up to be his friend. However, just the opposite is true. Mr. Mayor was diagnosed with a number of medical problems in his lifetime but most notably, autism. I'm sure most of you have heard of autism and probably even know someone with it. Mr. Mayor is considered a "high functioning" autistic child. He can do most everything that a normal child can, only different or quirky. He can't read social cues which makes it difficult to know who is really his friend and who is bullying him. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

When he was in kindergarten, we had a neighbor boy that would ask for my son to come out and play. I was thrilled! I thought this was his first real friend. To my despair, I went peeking on them while playing outside one day and saw this boy throwing sticks and holly berries at my son. Taunting him. He was saying, "Oh yeah, I'm your friend this is what friends do. Isn't this fun?" I walked right out there and told my son to go inside. He looked up at me and said, "But mom, he's my friend. We're having fun." Mr. Mayor didn't need friends like that. He didn't understand why I wouldn't let the neighbor boy come to play any more.

That was exactly how the rest of his life has been. Always trying to be friends with the kids that bullied him the most. This last year was the worst. He began to feel the wrath of the extreme bullies. He was tormented daily by numerous children. When he would finally have enough torture, he would act out. Only to be sent to In-School Suspension for swearing or throwing a punch (his reflexes were too slow to actually make contact though). While all this was happening, he began to have increasing medical problems. He was now on blood pressure medication, anxiety/depression medication and ADHD medication. He was threatening to hurt himself or someone else. I had to check his backpack everyday before school to ensure no weapons were going with him. I was crying everyday for him that someone would help him. Then it hit me....I am his mother! If I don't help him myself, I can't expect anyone else to help him either.

I took Mr. Mayor out of public schools and started homeschooling him. It took a little tweaking but we got into a groove and it is working out amazingly! He is happy all the time. He is off ALL medications. He is doing things and learning things no one thought he would. He is a completely different child.

There is only one thing that is still not quite right. Mr. Mayor is 13 years old and has never had a true friend. We thought he had one this summer when he was visiting his grandfather in the mid-west. He met another autistic boy that was 15 years old. My son was on the phone talking with this new found amigo - 24/7. It was blissful. UNTIL... his new amigo started steeling from him and his grandfather and tried to get Mr. Mayor to run away with him, and other legal issues. I'm sure you know what happened next.... Mr. Mayor and his amigo were separated and could not be friends any more. It was heart breaking for me to do but even more heart breaking for my son to endure. Although it may have felt like this kid was a true friend, we know that true friends won't put you in harms way on purpose. They won't steel from you or do things that will get you in trouble with the law. With friends like that, who needs enemies?

So, although I was able to save Mr. Mayor from the torture of the bullies, I can not save him from the heartache of being friendless. Therefore, I ask you to help me in my search to find someone my son can call a "true friend". Someone that has the same values, likes and dislikes as Mr. Mayor. Someone who will try to understand him, whether he/she really gets him or not. Someone who will help him grow and mature, explore and endure. Please help me find a friend for Mr. Mayor. Imagine being 13 years old and not having anyone to call on the phone, text or chat with. Imagine never being asked to come to a birthday party or a sleep over. Imagine never having anyone .... but your family who will be there for you... that you can count on. This is what it's like for Mr. Mayor. Help me save Mr. Mayor.